"Scars are easier to talk about, than they are to show!" -Dr. Brene' Brown
This quote resonated with me so much. Over the years I have learned that most of the time it is easier for us to share the pain after we have overcome it than it is for us when we are going through it. I think for me it goes back to the way I was raised. We didn't talk about our emotions or even sit down to express openly how another felt. It wasn't that type of expressive environment. I also learned to keep things within that environment and sweep it all under the rug.
As a kid, that teaches you to shelter your emotions. Only show the good side of things! Many of you may feel or have felt the exact same way. I have learned to be more vulnerable. To share my story of pain and to own it. You help activate courage and acceptance in others when you share your most vulnerable failures and experiences. It won't make you look shameful, it shows bravery. It shows that you are open to healing and ready for self-discovery and connection to a higher you.
When you Let go of things that deplete you, have held you captive in your own mind through limited beliefs and self-pity and that no longer serve who you are, This can be the best thing you can do for yourself, in order to go to the next evolution of you! You deserve so much more and some. You matter so damn much even if you can't see it at this time. Let me expand your perspective a bit and make things a little bit more clearer. Often times we hold on to things, people, places, jobs, or situations because we feel safe. Even though it is causing us pain and hurt we stay because it's known. We are so afraid of the unknown because we don't know it.
We tell ourselves all these bullshit ass reasons as to why we are staying connected, knowing deep within and often time blocking out what the inner voice is saying because externally, we aren't willing to make the change. Did that resonate with you? I'm sure in some way it did. This is because ALL of us in some form or the other has done this and are still doing this. We know that friendship is toxic, we know our health habits are unhealthy, we know that relationship is doing more harm than good and we know that job is not where we truly see ourselves for the rest of our lives.....
Yet we stay! We stay attached to this pain that is killing us more and more inside. We know there is more to us, but we stay attached to poison. When I realized that this made no damn sense, I knew I had to release all that was poisonous to my soul and I had to heal. At one point in my life, I allowed my hands to bleed while in excruciating pain. I held on to things that were killing me inside. I felt like at one point, I was letting go of one thing, and grabbing on immediately to something else which would make the cuts worse. This came from me not
dealing with what was deeply rooted. No matter where I went in my life and what I accomplished, I usually found myself attracting the same type of person or situation. It started to become tiresome. I got to the point where I had run so long, I was tired! I wanted to understand what it meant to not just speak about a positive life, but to actually attract one. I started to improve myself by going to therapy, reading more self-help books and really focusing on myself like never before. I understood that it would be a process that I would be in and out of, but I knew there would come a point when I would be have to FACE a lot of deep shit. But I at least started which inevitably led me to the deep DIVE!
The more you release the things that are poisonous to your soul, the more you find who you really are and understand your purpose! This is why it is so important to do what is best for you. Everyone will not like when you choose YOU, but who gives a fuck! You have given a FUCK about what "they" wanted for too long and where has that gotten you??? Exactly! It's time for you to GIVE a FUCK about you! You deserve to heal, be happy, feel what it is like to feel and be alive, do the things your heart desire and embrace inner peace with an open heart! You can REALLY have that kind of life! BUT before you do....Something or some things much die first.
You have to be willing to let go of that old, broken you that was pumped full of poison and rebirth a NEW, LOVING, FEARLESS, HAPPY, and more PEACEFUL...YOU!
I know that once you DECIDE that YOU MATTER! Things will shift so drastically for you in a positive light. Don't allow the soul poison to kill who you are truly meant to be!
I am always here to talk to anyone who is READY to take a deep dive in their lives and say YES to themselves. In order to live a life you truly desire, you have to say YES to yourself!
I love helping other people heal into happiness as I have. I'm gifting a FREE 30-minute BREAKTHROUGH call to anyone who is READY to say YES to themselves. During this call we will divinely connect through love and understanding. I will learn about your desires and your challenges and together we will discuss the recipe I have to help you get the happiness and desires you truly deserve. Schedule NOW!
Until next time my loves....#DeeToxin
What up beautiful souls!! Today is the last Saturday in 2018. Wow! I know this has been an up and down year for many of us. I know for me it felt like I was living my best and worst life at the same time. I had a very deep transformative year. I know for a fact that I am happy AF to be where I am now. I went through some vital healing and now I feel very good. I am ready to take on the world.
I let go of a lot of of toxic strings this year. I did some inner diving and brought it all up. I was ready to stop attracting trauma, hurt and pain through people or situations. When you understand that YOU play a major part in what comes into your reality, you'll start to focus on being better so that you can attract better and more loving experiences. Your tribe should be the authentic support you need to keep you inspired and full of life! Who you surround yourself with plays a key role in your evolution.
If you are ready to really be a better you in 2019...and detach and release through love the things that no longer serve you, I invite you to reach out to me and set up your FREE 30-MIN. Breakthrough Call with me so that we can discuss the key ingredients I have through my Dee’Tox Signature System™ Program that will ultimately give you the happiness you truly deserve!!
To learn more about enhancing your life please check out the video below:
What up beautiful souls! It's a gorgeous night for me tonight. It has been a very productive day to say the least. You know I enjoy my days and nights so much more (That inner peace is the business). It has a lot to do with how I start my mornings. I've spoken about this so many times and if you follow me on Snapchat: dlifecoaching then you usually will see how I start my mornings. I wake up and I spend time with myself. I give myself at least 30-45 min. to really be with myself.
It's truly been a game changer for me. I love my new aged ambient radio on pandora. I usually tell Alexa to continue play and she already knows lol. It's very relaxing. I feel the vibes, smell the air,, be with my plants and dogs and I become aware of my presence. I sometimes write in my journal all of the things I am grateful for, or I read a good inspiring book, or maybe I just feel like closing my eyes and reflecting on how peaceful I am. Look, I'm telling ya'll when you spend time with yourself, you truly start to discover more about you. Create time for yourself everyday for at least 15 minutes/day and watch what happens. No phones, emails, social media, etc. just you and your sacred time!
There are times that I do meditate (I do guided meditations) because it's a great habit to have especially for people with anxiety or emotional overwhelm. My wife is a pro at meditating. She loves it and I mean loves it. One time I almost felt like she was about to levitate she was vibin' so high....LMAO! But for real it's that powerful when you tap into it. Anyway ya'll know I can go on tangents so let's get back to the the topic.
I know many of you may have a lot of negative baggage or blockage in your life. There are many ways to clear the blockages and create room for new, more positively enhancing jewels in your life. Here are three ways to Dee'Toxify negative blockages in your life:
1. Remove yourself from toxic situations/people
Listen, energy is real and very contagious and what you allow in your spirit will eventually try to pack its bags and reside. You can't be positive being in negative situations or around negative people. Those things will deplete you and have you feeling worse by the day. You have to make a choice to remove yourself from things that doesn't serve you for the better! Start surrounding yourself with inspirational and encouraging people/situations...trust me you will feel the difference!
2. Get rid of old items or clean out junk that no longer serves you (Such as old clothes from years ago or paperwork, etc.)
Don't shoot me! I am the just the spiritual messenger, but holding on to old ass shit that you don't wear or need is also holding on to old, stale energy. Let it go! Make room for the new. Clean your closet out, clean out the junk drawers full of old mail, etc. Some of ya'll are like damn, I didn't know that stuff was making me feel bad...Uh yea! I learned this and when I learned it and started to change things up, I found that my energy became lighter and I created room for new and better things to flow into my life.
Listen, it's all energy guys. Energy will make itself home where it's welcomed and the focus here is to create a life for positive energy! So get to throwing old shit out!!!
3. Positive Affirmations Change the Game
For all that know me know and will see nothing but positive, positive, positive!! I can't stress this enough...What you speak, what you feel and what you believe will be your reality. You must learn to inject positive affirmations into your subconscious daily. You must get rid of the old, limited, don't give a fuck about you beliefs and start planting self-love and positive "I AM" seeds that will grow into a beautiful positive mindset. I'm talking about a mindset so inspiring you'll start to inspire yourself..LOL yes, I said it because it happens and it's fun!
I hope you enjoyed my thoughts tonight! Please share this, copy the link from the browser and reference back as you need to. If there is anyone that is ready to take their life from stress to success and finally seek the happiness you deserve, please reach out to me HERE and let's schedule your FREE 30-minute break through call!
Don't go into 2019 with all that negative blockage...You and Happiness Belong Together! And I have the key ingredients for your recipe!
Have a good night!
Hey beautiful souls. It's amazing to be alive! I am overjoyed at the current moment because I am able to write peacefully. I'm jamming some EDM music right now and vibing through this gorgeous thing called life. I'm telling you, life is truly what you make of it. Each day we wake up, make a conscious decision to be positive, we spread this inspiring wave of love. That's why it's so important to self-care and think positively.
I feel like I waited a good chunk of my life to live this life I am currently desiring to live. I feel like because I started loving me and focusing on me in a more spiritual way, my life is transforming right before my eyes. I took a deep dive, a dive within my soul. I allowed my soul to finally open up and connect with my heart. It's being powerfully astonishing to say the least. I've been searching for this feeling all of my life it seems.
A feeling of wholeness. I finally feel like I am connecting with a higher me. A more vibrant and in divine alignment me. I used to feel so disconnected and lonely and people would have no idea. I was trapped in my own world of limitations and hurt. I had to find a way to allow my higher being to break free and the only way I could do that was through healing and self-discovery. Self-discovery is beautiful because I learned how to love myself.
Everything that I wanted from someone else...friendships, my relationship with my wife, etc. I had to understand me on a deep, deep and I mean deeper level. When we start to look within, the perspective changes. You will start to feel again, but you have to allow it...What I mean by that is that you have to feel everything that you have to face in order to grow. It can be fearful and painful, journeying to the root of our insecurities, trauma or pain, but it will all be worth it.
You'll discover so many loving and significant things about yourself if you truly decide to take the dive. We all in some form or fashion want to be loved, we want to be valued, we want to be respected, we want so many things and will demand these things from others when simply we should calm down, relax and give it to ourselves first. How many of you have actually dated yourself? It's actually pretty damn dope. You know you better than anybody right?! Think about it this way...You get to treat yourself like you desire to be treated and it's freaking amazing!
Some of you may think this is crazy and you think you would look weird or feel weird going out alone, but actually you would feel the opposite if you embraced the experience. Listen, we don't need a companion or someone all in our space at all times. It's okay to be with yourself. It's okay to treat yourself to quality time and it's okay to have fun while doing so. During time alone is when you reflect and discover some of the most unique and creative things about yourself. It takes being open to the experience and releasing the blockage of feeling alone.
There is nothing wrong with looking for love. The love you are looking for though is within. Give yourself everything you truly desire and watch what happens in your life. You will start to attract the type of healthy and loving relationships you seek because you are giving it to yourself first. I love love and I am a huge hopeless romantic, but i know that in order to organically and unconditionally receive the love we want so bad, we must first self-evaluate and dive into our soul.
I love you all! Thank you for taking the time to positively vibe with me and I want you to know that you and Happiness, Ya'll Belong Together!
Forgiveness isn't an easy thing to do, but it's the most powerful thing you will ever do. It takes unconditional love to forgive. It takes really letting go of negative and harbored pain that has held you captive. I say captive because you can't tap into your higher self, your spiritual self, until you release the things that keep you from it. I feel often we hurt from pain or past traumas, but we fear releasing it because we attached ourselves to it because we (in some weird way) felt we needed it or that the anger or resentment would make us better. It doesn't and honestly, it makes us worse. It makes us bitter and we become negative and just toxic.
Forgiveness gives us our power back. It gives us a new start, it puts us on a path to healing which in turn transforms our lives for the greater good. There is no need for us to seek revenge or seek the same pain on others they have caused us, but it's important we give ourselves something powerfully amazing and that's freedom. Freedom to live a happy life and to self discover so that we may empower and inspire others to do the same. I am very happy I chose forgiveness. I am not going to sit here and say I didn't overall have a childhood filled with fun and loving memories, but there was a deeper and more traumatic side to it as well. In order for me to heal, I had to face the truths and stand in it until I felt it so real and I let it go. I no longer wanted it to be the head of my life. I no longer wanted it to keep me from being better, healthier, happy and the light needed to help enhance the world. So, I knew that I had to face it, feel it and release it all with love.
Releasing it all and deciding to forgive the pain of what trapped me for so many years, has spiritually elevated me. I didn't know how much of a burden unforgiveness was until I let it go. I didn't know that so many parts of my life were affected by this poison until I started to dig deeper until I reached a point of allowing all of those suppressed memories and the pain to come back up. I, like so many of you was killing myself slowly internally. Forgiveness wasn't just about forgiving my past, but it most importantly about forgiving myself. I had to start loving myself and letting go of beliefs that had subconsciously haunted me for so many years. Beliefs that were not even true. But because I had allowed traumatic events from my past to take over, I believed the pain. Not only did I attract more pain and trauma in my life from other things and people, but it was hard for me to believe in anything authentically. The shit was hard and it was excruciating living damn near most of my life like that.
I wasn't the type to really open up to a lot of people, so when I did open up I felt some type of closeness to you or security, but then I found many people were just as broken and they couldn't really be there for me in a genuine way which caused me to have trust issues. I'm getting real and deep with ya'll because that hold of not forgiving sticks and it does impact every area of your life and if you don't ever let it go....your life experiences get tougher and toxic. I decided to dig so deep until I got to the root of my trauma. A few days ago (October 15, 2018) I did something I been needing to do all of these years. I decided to release the hurt from my past with my mother and genuinely forgive her for myself. I seen a lot of abuse growing up and I didn't have that emotional attachment many daughters have with their mothers. Although, she did the very best she could and in so many ways gave me good experiences and things, it was that hurtful and painful trauma from watching her get physically, emotionally and verbally hurt often by men. It was also very painful when I decided to come out as a Lesbian. She didn't support or acknowledge it and for years she prayed for me to be different instead of seeing me as her child and just loving me unconditionally. We never had a healthy relationship. It was all very surfaced.
But as I pulled up that root, my spirit told me, that my mother couldn't really give me what she didn't have and that her pains are still haunting her. I was like damn that was deep and I cried like a baby. I decided to write her a 3 page letter and send it to her via email. My father was killed when I was 2 years old. I, at times felt like I was alone. I just wanted to understand why my life had to be like this. Once I decided to heal, it all came to me. I knew I was here on this earth for a reason and that my purpose was bigger than me. When I pushed the send button, I felt a heavy weight lift. I felt so light and just exhausted. It was a good exhaustion though. I needed that shit! I love my mother for giving life to me and I do know that a lot of the good qualities I have, I got from her. I can't say she was an overall bad mother because she took care of us and did the very best she could, but I had to get real about the pain I endured. I can now move on and continue to self discover through. I am not responsible for her healing, but I am responsible for mine and I've decided to break that generational curse by healing and facing things that have always been swept under the rug. I have decided to be exactly who I am and not be afraid to speak the truth through my voice, but most importantly I've decided to heal, forgive, and love myself!
That, I know for sure (as my girl Oprah would say) was the best thing I could have done for myself.
I love ya'll and I truly pray this helps someone who is battling with unforgiveness! It's time to FLY!!!
You and Happiness Belong Together...Muah!
Hey loves! Now, ya'll know we are about to go deep for a second and get real. That's usually my first step to healing. You have to face yourself to know yourself. It's a must that you do this. Let me explain why! We feel pain, we feel hurt and we feel all types of feelings that can either hold us captive in our minds or they can set us free. Before you deal with all the emotions that comes with grief (killing the old you), You have to be ready to stand in your truth. I say stand in truth because if you truly desire to heal, you have to get real about the pain.
The pain isn't easy, I get that and we all know it hurts, but there is beauty in all of this...ya'll ready to explore or should I say Dee'Tox with me? Okay! So, I will start with how I got to a place of healing and self-love. Like many of you, I didn't want to look at myself because it was easier to hide and run away, BUT it really wasn't easy. It got harder on my soul the more I ran. I ran from myself because I was ashamed, I felt guilt, I felt fragile and I felt like I had allowed myself to be treated and hurt by allowing unforgiveness, the loss of my father (abandonment thinking), and trauma from my childhood to stay imprisoned in my mind.
You must understand that your thoughts become feelings and the feelings will soon become attracted to you and more of that will keep showing up in your life. It isn't until you find yourself in a submissive position ready to allow your higher self to take over, that you experience the SHIFT! I experienced this last November. I was going through a storm of growth and I wasn't in a good place. It was right before my 35th birthday and I could feel something and couldn't control it. I didn't know what or why, but I knew that I was ready to fully give in to God and live out my soul's purpose and I knew exactly what I had to do. I had already been in the process of healing, but this time I knew it was going to be very different for me. As afraid as I was I had to make a choice to let go and let God (or the universe) lead.
It's insane how we keep ourselves from the best part of us because we have believed the negative stories we've told ourselves (I am not good enough, I can't, etc.). Those negative stories are false. They have no truth to them and when you get real with yourself you will find out that you can write a new, more exciting and LIFE filled story full of happiness. BUT first, let me get real with ya'll, those growing pains don't feel the best, but they will pass. I promise they will. Your soul has to re-construct and Dee'Tox from all the toxins that's been depleting it. It is imperative that you go through the process knowing that you are going to come out not just stronger, but better and that you will begin to write a new story for your life.
The best way to do this is to start replacing all of those negative thoughts with positive thoughts the moment you feel them coming on. This has to be a daily practice. Start looking at yourself and loving yourself. I like to do a mirror activity that I call, "Let's Get Real" and this activity is designed to have you not just look at yourself physically, but go deeper. I have my clients use a hand held mirror, draw a self-discovering question out of my "Let's Get Real" jar and really talk to that reflection. It's empowering because SHIT really does get real. But once you face it and you feel it, more of that toxicity sheds. It's like peeling back thick layers and feeling lighter.
You truly deserve to be lighter and happy. When you start to shift into being a better you, there will be a transformation. You won't allow things you once allowed that hurt or took power over you because you now have the power. And as you heal you will discover that the negative actions or opinions of others has absolutely nothing to do with you. An unhealed person can or will find offense in everything someone does. You get to choose each day, which one you will be. If you choose to be healed, then you choose to be happy.
Remember, you and happiness belong together. I love you all and I hope you continue to allow me to help you heal into a HAPPY life.
A lot of people are down, depressed, stressed, overwhelmed and just overall unhappy. I was once this person. I was strapped down by the negative beliefs that my life was what it was and I didn't really have a chance to be as happy as I should or should I be real and say I felt as though I didn't deserve it. I felt this way because this is what I learned to believe. I learned to feel like the only way to be okay was to accept that struggle was the final destination and that sweeping your feelings and traumas under the rug was most effective. This left me feeling a void even after a moment of fun or happiness I never could feel fully happy. I always thought in the back of my mind that things were too good to be true (when something good came) and that's just the way things would be.
Let me explain something. That did not feel good at all. It felt horrible. Imagine going through your days expecting something to go wrong in some form of fashion (many of you can relate) even when you wanted them to go right. As I got older, maybe around 25 years old (about 10 years ago) I started to tap into positive and inspiring things as I once had playing basketball most of my life. I went back to the fundamentals of what helped me be a great basketball player, only this time I started to talk to the deeper me. Not just the me, that covered up the hurt and wanted to be the greatest chick ball player around, but that hurt little girl in me. I had to make things right so I started with my thoughts.
It wasn't easy at all. In fact, it took to me until recently to truly truly and I mean truly tap into my inner being. I had to be real about wanting to be better. I had to make peace with my inner hurt girl and I knew that I had to figure out a way to love her and help her heal. I've always been a giver with a big heart. I started to shift my giving (not for obligatory purposes) but with good intentions and help people who really needed my help. It started with getting involved in the community and serving through my time and then it lead to physically gathering others and getting out on the streets feeding the homeless, giving out coats in the winter to giving much needed love notes and hugs just because. The more I tapped into giving to others, it helped me discover more of me, love more of me and tell that hurt girl inside of me that ALL IS WELL.
At 35 years old, I am open to more of me. I am spiritually transforming into the divine vessel I was destined to be. I have so many more days of happiness, joy, gratitude and eagerness to give more! The more you give to yourself the better your life will be. There will be detachments from many, but the attachment of the parts internally for you, now that's life changing.
Love Yourself. Be Kind to Yourself. Heal Yourself and Pay it Forward.
Check out this Awesome Video with my good friend Chassidy Young and I as we give Love and Hugs to random strangers in our community in Dallas, Texas!
Are you dealing with Toxic People? Is it frustrating? Let me provide Advice on how to deal with them...
We all know negative people can be a hassle. It can be tiresome and just draining dealing with negative people who always have pessimistic views and just complain about everything. The easy thing to do would be for me to tell you to just avoid them all in all, but realistically in some situation or another we will find ourselves interacting with someone negative.
Look, let's be completely honest with ourselves. We all have been negative in some form or fashion and I am sure it may have made someone else feel a certain type of way about us. None of us are perfect and life happens. This causes us to react to bad situations in our lives by giving life to the bad feeling which is typically why toxic behaviors occur. I am saying this to say, show compassion. I am not by far saying, allow anyone to mistreat you or be disrespectful to you, but in most cases people need to be heard. They just want to vent and that's okay. Many of them usually just need a word of encouragement to help them feel better. Get a feel for them and just be compassionate.
Now, there are others that completely are just stuck in the habitual bubble of negativity. What I have learned to understand about people like this (especially adults) is that they haven't developmentally grown up. They haven't faced their inner self and allowed the healing process to take place for whatever they have gone through. They are still in a child like state of victimization. We all have traumatic or just life altering adversities that have taken place in our lives. It is truly up to us to reprogram and heal from it. If you come across these types of individuals, show compassion, but disassociate yourself from them. Do NOT and I mean DO NOT get caught up in their negative bubble. You can find yourself drained and pissed off if you do and that's not what you want.
My final piece of advice is to let people be. We all have something we are dealing with and yes we have a choice to decide if we are going to be positive or negative about it. Most have NOT reached a level of positive thinking, and so you shouldn't take it personal. I wouldn't put energy towards someone else's choice to be toxic. Let them be and you keep it moving with nothing but love in your heart. This way you stay pretty grounded and you can keep your frequency high.
I hope you all enjoyed this Dee'Tox moment. I am always here to offer advice and positive support, and again thanks for allowing me to aid in helping you Heal into a Happy Life!
Check out the video below for more:
Releasing Fear is not always easy for us. Let me offer a fresh perspective in regards to Fear. Fear is apart of us. It honestly, just wants to be satisfied. It's that insecure part of you that's telling yourself all the negative things, which makes you feel doubt and then you began to self sabotage. Let's dive a little deeper. why are we afraid of what we afraid of? Take for instance a person who has a fear of planes and has never been on a plane. Maybe they have seen bad things on the news from plane crashes or never really travels by planes and already has this limited belief that planes are bad.
We deprive ourselves before we allow ourselves. We have to let go of the false stories we have created. We have to be open to going deeper psychologically as to why we feel the way we do. What does the fear look like, what does it feel like, what does it sound like, etc. Once we understand why the fear is there, we can start re-writing a new story. Invite fear into a world of confidence, a world of security, start feeling good, start seeing great things ahead instead of focusing on the bad.
So, change your mind. You can make the choice right now to see things in a more positive light. You can choose to invite fear to walk into uncertainty positively or you can allow fear to be a ball of negative, spiraling out of control energy that keeps you from experiencing some of the greatest moments in your life. The choice is yours!
At least love yourself enough to try! You will be happy you did regardless of the outcome. But I bet $50 that the outcome will always work out for you!
Check out this dope Self Love Video Below:
Positive thoughts can change the course of your entire life. We have a life full of abundance all around us at all times. Focusing on the best of things will bring it all to the light!